Back to school...

Savannah has started school. Already. Blasted year-round school- I really HATE it. But, that's not important.
What is important, is that my little green-eyed beauty is in
4th grade!! I cannot believe it.
It seems only yesterday we moved into this house, and she was only 3, and just starting preschool. Here we are, six years later, and she is officially growing up. Quickly. A little too quickly, if you ask me!


She was pretty excited for school to start this year, for a few reasons.
First, she is in 4th grade now, and it's kinda a big deal! 4th grade signals "grown up kids" in elementary, apparently. Quite excited to be one of the bigger kids.

Second, her teacher is Mr. Gallagher, who Savannah may or may not have a slight crush on. I can't actually say if she does or not, because I got in trouble when I opened my big fat mouth (well, really my big fat computer....) and blabbed to the entire cosmos that Savannah has a little bit of a crush on those cute Jonas Brothers.
So, maybe, maybe not. Ask her.

Third, Charlotte will be at school with her this year. Only half the day of course, because kindergarten in (most of) Utah is just (glorified preschool) half-day. But still, Savannah is so proud to be a big sister at school. LOVE that about my dear Savannah, she is so tender and caring and sweet.

This is Savannah just before we left to take her to school. She was actually kind of nervous, but if you ask her, she is only grimacing because the sun was really in her eyes, and it was hard to smile.

And this is Savannah, in her 4th grade classroom, at her 4th grade desk, holding up her desk nametag.

After that, I promised I would not subject her to further embarrassment, and ended the photo session. Plus, Mr. Gallagher came in just then, so I was pretty much ignored anyway......


All in all, she had a wonderful first day back.
Happy 4th Grade, my beautiful green-eyed Savannah!

Oh, the things kids say....

Spaghetti.

Magic.So, what do these two things have in common?

Charlotte, of course!

Tonight, the kids asked what was for dinner. The answer was-- spaghetti and meatballs. That response brought on a full-fledged
"I don't like spaghetti" tantrum from all three of the kids.

A little later, when dinner was ready and getting dished up, Charlotte sees the plates on the table, piled high with spaghetti and
yummy meatballs.
With my back to her, I hear her adorable little voice say, in a slightly hushed and irritated tone, this:

"Abra cadabra, make this spaghetti go away."

Colby and I almost fell over laughing. Come on, Charlotte, tell us how you REALLY feel!!!

On a somewhat related note, Colby is not a huge fan of spaghetti. Something about eating it several times a week for two straight years on his mission. But, he really does love my
spaghetti and meatballs.
Come on, Charlotte- if Colby can eat it happily after nearly overdosing on it for two years, you can choke down a few bites without having to resort to magic spells to make the
dinner disappear!!!

Oh my, she is sooooo funny!

Charlotte's wonderful world...

Anyone who knows Charlotte at all knows that she is a Princess.
She loves to dress up, she loves to wear glittery makeup, she loves to wear high heels,
she LOVES to wear jewelry,
you get the idea.

On a typical day, Charlotte will ask me if she can wear a dress or a skirt. Since the weather has been so lovely and sunny and warm lately, the answer every single day has been, much to Charlotte's extreme delight, YES!

On a related note, the most effective and surefire method of punishment or discipline for Charlotte is to tell her that if she doesn't behave, or clean her room, or whatever, that I will take her dresses away, and she'll have to wear pants for a week.
Works every time.
Honestly, you'd think I was threatening her very existence.
That's how much she LOVES to wear dresses.

So imagine my shock when Charlotte came upstairs today after getting dressed.

She was wearing a simple shirt and capri pants.

Everyone, record this in your journals!! It may never happen again- Charlotte picked out and wore capris without it being a method of torture or discipline.

Oh, how I love my twirly-girly Charlotte!

In the realm of fantasy...

I like fantasy stories, don't you? I am a sucker for a good fairy tale, or a great fantasy/sci-fi story. Not really hi-tech, super-geeky sci-fi, mind you, but a good Terry Brooks novel is sure a fun read.

So, in the land of fairy tales and magic and fantasy and the like, you read of mythical creatures; or of magical objects.
Sucks that in real life, none of that ever shows up, don't you think?
In all my 30+ years of life, I have never, not once, walked down the street, and witnessed a unicorn flying through the sky.
I have never walked into a darkened room, and found a glowing stick so fraught with magic and wonder that my eyes burn from merely looking at it.

So many magical and wondrous things that I have heard of, and yet not seen with my own eyes.

But, today, I must confess, I did see something.

Colby claims that he has seen these particular things on numerous occasions. Often, he will try to point them out to me, so that I can share in the joy of seeing these elusive things.
But, alas, I have never been able to see them before.

I was afraid that I was one of those Harry Potter "muggle" types that just doesn't have the gift of sight. After all, I have read the "The Hobbit" and the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy, and I thought, quite frankly, that they were horribly, and epically, overrated. And I'm just about the nerdiest bookworm ever, so what does that mean?!?!?

But, today, I saw them!!

Colby pointed them out to me, and for the first time ever, I can say with absolute confidence that I saw them too.

I saw, with my own two eyes............

are you ready for this........

Colby has gray hair.

Maybe 3 of them, MAYBE, but he is a little bit bugged
by their presence.
His birthday this year was a bit rough for him, as well.

Honestly, he has tried to show me his "gray hair" several times in the past few months, and I never see any. Truly.

But, today, I crossed over from the land of fantasy into the
realm of reality.
The mysterious Colby-gray-hair actually does exist.

And yet, Colby is still so dang hot and handsome!!

Dinner Debate

I have always heard about how important it is for your family to sit down and eat dinner together. You know, the whole "family togetherness" and all that. It is a time to be together, talk to each other, and just connect after a long day of work, school, chores, errands, whatever.

And really, our family is able to sit down, all five of us, and eat dinner together most every night.



Like tonight.



We were able to have quite a meaningful conversation. Charlotte and Barrett were debating the difference between calling something a "peepee head" and a "poopoo head."



Charlotte feels that "peepee head" is what you call someone or something you don't like or don't understand, or that you just want to call a name. According to her, "peepee head" is plenty descriptive.



Barrett is of the opinion that "peepee head" is just not enough. He feels that "poopoo head" is much better.

They went back and forth; a five-year-old and a four-year-old trying to convince everyone else at the table that their word of choice was the best one.

I bet you are all so jealous of our meaningful and stimulating conversation. I know you're just so sad that you weren't at our house for dinner tonight, so that you could offer your opinion, and choose a side.

So, what are your thoughts? I need a vote- who sides with Bear, and who sides with Charlotte?

A Reverse Recommendation....

Just in case any of you are in the market for, or are interested in,
a home security/alarm system, I thought I might make a recommendation, in reverse.....

Avoid this security company at all costs:

Seriously, they have been a total nightmare.
If Satan himself comes to your door selling an alarm system, buy from him before you buy from Radius.

And that's all I can say. But, if anyone needs more details or information, I have plenty of Radius Security-caused "bad mood" left over, so I can rehash all of my gripes and issues at any time.

Grrrrrr.

And the winner is.....

Barrett!!!

Barrett is quite an athlete. Don't let his small stature fool you, the little dude is tough! There are many times when he and I play "football" during the day. Of course, it is Barrett's interpretation of football, meaning there is no actual 'ball' that we use. Bear's style of football is more like 100% tackle. He'll randomly shout "Mom, watch this!" and then run at me full-speed, pummel me, and quite often, knock me flat. He is a tackle maniac!

Today I was cleaning the bathrooms. Not really one of my favorite ways to pass the time, but oh well.
But, as I was in the middle of cleaning the bathtub, I hear a bit of yelling, and, assuming it is still Charlotte and Bear playing downstairs, I (kind of) ignore it.
Bad move, Dani!!

Next thing I know, there is a rushing sound, and then the feeling of a 31-pound handsome little devil slamming into me at full force!

I can now tell you exactly how Clorox disinfecting bathroom
cleaner tastes.
Yuck.
On so many levels, yuck.

The score stands thus:

Barrett: 1 million, Mom: 0

I Hate Nature...

I am not a fan of nature.
Not. At. All.

Today, as the gale-force winds were blowing, and making all the trees sway and bend and curve in a manner most bizarre and unpleasant, a terrible thing happened.

Nature happened.

In our front yard, there is a lovely, albeit small, red maple tree. In the upper branches of that tree, sits a little robin's nest.
My kids have had such a fun time this spring, watching the Mama Robin fly away to get food for her babies, and then coming back again with a beak full of dangly little worms. They have loved having the Nature Channel right in their own front yard.

Until today.

The horrific winds were blowing hard enough to knock all three of the baby robins out of the nest. Sadly, one of them did not survive the fall. The other two did.

And that presents another crime of nature. Mama Robin will likely abandon the baby birds now that I have tried to "save" them. I can't take care of them, and even if I could get them back up in their cozy little nest, Mama Robin will just push them right back out.

The defenseless, helpless, and innocent little baby robins
are going to die.

I hate nature.

The color wheel....

You know you love your daughter when.......

You allow her to pick out your nail polish color, and then, stick with what she picks, even if the color she chooses is this:

Yep, a delightful shade of pink Charlotte calls "Pretty as a Princess Pink." OPI calls it "Panda-monium Pink." Either way, it reminds me of cotton candy or Pepto-Bismol, and it is generally a color that I would not choose for myself. At all. I much prefer colors that are slightly more dramatic and moody, such as:

"Be Still My Heart," or, as OPI calls is, "Bastille My Heart." I like this color. A lot.

It is definitely one of my favorites. But, to be very honest....

This is my very most favorite color: "Black Magic."

I LOVE THIS COLOR!

It seems just as moody and cynical and pessimistic as I am.

But, because I love Charlotte, and because I love that she is so pink and fluffy and twirly-girly, I let her pick out the color, knowing full well that she would probably pick out a color that secretly makes me think of Pepto-Bismol.

So, now every time I look down and see my fingernails, I think of upset tummies from eating way too much cotton candy, and therefore, choking down Pepto.

Sure do love you, Charlotte.

Next time, I pick the color!

Happy Birthday!!!

Happy Birthday Colby!

You're the caramel in my Twix, and the salt on my popcorn.

Sure do love and adore you, Handsome Man!!!

Pop Quiz

Just a quick Pop Quiz. Very important. Take your time, and answer each question honestly, and truthfully, to the best of your abilities.

1. Dani thinks that:
A. Spiders are the literal spawn of Satan.

B. God created spiders in His fury over Adam and Eve partaking of the Forbidden Fruit.

C. Spiders are the very embodiment of Evil on the earth.

D. All of the above.

2. Dani wishes that:
A. Spiders, every single species, would magically and eternally disappear from existence.

B. All spiders would, at the very least, stay at least 3 million miles away from her.

C. All books and movies portraying spiders as kind, adorable creatures could be banned.

D. All of the above.

3. Despite her intense and burning hatred of spiders, Dani:
A. Is far too chicken to actually squash them.

B. Prefers to send in her cats to "play" with the spiders until they die, and then she will vacuum them up.

C. Will spray them with spider spray, hairspray, window cleaner, or any other remotely poisonous and/or noxious substance, hoping that they die a slow and miserable and tortuous death, and will then vacuum them up.

D. All of the above.


Okay, time! Pencils up.

The answer to every question was D, All of the above.
How did you do on this quiz?


As much as I am ready for warm weather, and the absence of snow and temperatures hovering at 30, I have to admit,

I HATE SPIDERS!!!!!

How is it possible that even with the dratted snowy February-like weather the last few days, the little eight-legged demons from hell have made their way into my house?

3 of them just today. I was really hoping that the evil creatures would react more like tomato plants, and that they would just shrivel up and freeze and die in this ridiculous cold snap.

No such luck.

I need a lot more hairspray..........

Because Everyone Already Knows......

Savannah likes the Jonas Brothers!! No matter how much she may try to deny it, she does. In fact, she LOVES the Jonas Brothers. I don't know that it even matters all that much which Jonas Brother you choose- she likes them all...a lot! Just in case you have doubts, Savannah has a Jonas Brothers CD, a concert DVD, and bedding.

Let me explain the bedding, because it is crucial to the whole point of this post.

So, Savannah has a brand-new bedroom. It is HERS; she no longer has to share with Charlotte. She's very excited about this, not only because it's more space, but because she gets to decorate her own room to her own liking- it doesn't have to be purple, pink, and Princessy anymore, because Charlotte can have that in her own room. Yay for Savannah! So, she picked out her room decor, and for her birthday, she received a Jonas Brothers super-soft blanket, a Jonas Brothers throw pillow, and a Jonas Brothers sheet set. This is in addition to the Jonas Brothers poster she received for Christmas. She placed the poster on the wall, directly above her bed, so that when she lays down, she can see the very cute, hot and handsome Jonas Brothers smiling down upon her, as she is laying on the pillow with the cute Jonas Brothers on it.

You get the idea.....she loves the Jonas Brothers, despite any and all protestations to the contrary.

Which brings me to today. I was (sort of!) teasing her about the Jonas Brothers, which (anyone who knows Savannah will already have guessed that it) did not excite her, or please her at all. I was (sort of!) teasing her about the perfect arrangement of the poster, the bedding, and all other things related to the Jonas Brothers. She eventually told me to stop teasing her, because it makes her feel embarrassed, and "how would you like it if I teased you?" I asked what she meant; how could she tease me? She just said "What if I told everyone that you thought someone was cute, and it made you embarrassed?"

So, I had to explain something to her.
Oh, Savannah, my dear, the thing is, I happen to have a major crush on someone, and I have since about 1985. And, pretty much everyone knows, too, so you couldn't really tease or embarrass me by telling everyone about it!!
I tried to tell her that if she likes those cute little Jonas Brothers, she shouldn't be shy about it, or try to hide it, or deny it.

Proclaim that love and adoration, Savannah!!


But, to try and make amends with Savannah, and to make her feel better, I posted one of my favorite pictures of my
(not so) secret crush.
So, here he is, Dani's major crush for about 25 years running....

The one and only, the delicious and perfect Martin Gore.

Isn't he adorable?!! I still swoon over this guy.

And, for the record Savannah, if I could find a pillowcase with Martin on it, I'd be all over it!! And I would buy the matching super-soft blanket, and pretty much anything else!

And for further record, just in case anyone is reading this post with growing panic and alarm, Colby is aware of, and fully supports my Martin crush. Don't worry, I know that Colby is the most awesome, the most handsome, the most amazing and hot guy ever to walk the earth.
I adore him.
The thing is, Colby is very secure in my love for him, so he is by no means threatened or scared of my decades-long, rapturous crush on Martin. He even downloads and sends me pictures of Martin. He was fully aware of my Martin crush when we met; he was fully aware that it was still there when we got married; and he is still aware of it now, thirteen blissful years later. Everyone okay? Good.

By the way, to all those who may be younger than I am..........if you must ask me who Martin Gore is, I reserve the right to sigh condescendingly, and then smack you.....but I will mean it in the nicest possible way!!!!

It is so easy....

I have decided that boys are soooooo easy to entertain.

This morning, I was messing around with the settings on my e-mail, and we came across a new background/theme for it:

Ninjas.

Well, obviously, Barrett thought I shouldn't pass that up, and so now, my e-mail page looks as though Snake Eyes has gotten the best of it.

Now he has told me about 20 times in the last 20 minutes "Mom, we need to check your e-mail."

I have a sneaky suspicion that he really doesn't care in the slightest about my e-mails, it's just that he is as excited to see the Ninjas all over the screen the 20th time as he was the first time.

And now he is dashing around the house in all his Snake Eyes gear, happy as can be.

It takes so little!

Battle Cry.....

This happened a while ago, and I thought I had already blogged it, but apparently I didn't, so, better late then never!!

Back in February, our family watched the Olympics. We love the Olympics, and the kids really liked it, especially figure skating, snowboard halfpipe, and the ski jumps. But, during the men's figure skating, there was a short little bio of Russian skater Yevgeny Plushenko. Well, Barrett LOVED watching him skate, and actually thought that his name was just about the coolest thing he'd ever heard. For days after, he would take his sword, his gun, his shield, or whatever weapon he happened to have, and then, before attacking whatever nefarious foe he was up against, he would shout "Yevgeny Plushenko!" and advance toward the enemy with deadly speed and force. Or, if he ever tripped, fell down, or otherwise hurt himself, he would say "ouch, yevgeny plushenko!"
That guy's name became Barrett's all-purpose expression: a battle cry, an expression of anger or hurt, you name it.
It was sooo funny, and I wish I had caught it on camera for you. He was so cute, and it was just adorable to see him, sword raised, face drawn in concentration, and then his adorable little-boy voice shout, at the top of his lungs, "Yevgeny Plushenko!"

So cute! How I love that little boy of mine!!

The Most Creative Award...

Charlotte has decided that she no longer wants to take naps during the day. Yes, I do realize that she is five, and that many kids her age haven't been taking naps for quite some time now. But, only in the last few weeks has she expressed her displeasure about naptime.
But, today, she told me that she couldn't take naps anymore, and it took every ounce of self-restraint I had to not laugh, because it was soooooo funny.
Charlotte takes the award for
"Most Clever and Creative Way To Get Out Of Doing Something"
for telling me this:

"I can't take naps now, because I am allergic to naps. Mom, do you know what "allergic" means?"

And then she proceeded to explain to me the definition of "allergic:"
'it means you really hate something.'

Huh.
So Charlotte is allergic to naps, and by her definition of the word, I am allergic to spiders, tomatoes, jelly beans, and the horribly
over-rated music of U2.

What kinds of things are you "allergic" to?!?!?