Car ride surprise

We took the kids for a car ride the other day, and look what we saw: deer! The kids thought it was so fun, and so awesome that we could see them right out of their windows. We were so close, we could almost touch them.

Barrett was absolutely certain that these are some of the reindeer from Santa's sleigh. We told him that they probably weren't, since Santa is at the North Pole and all, but he was insistent. These are Rudolph, Dasher and Dancer. So, now you know where Santa's reindeer come on their summer vacation- to good ol' Utah!!

Ladybug!!

This is at Charlotte's final soccer game of the season. Barrett was so excited-he found a ladybug! Ordinarily, he is quite afraid of little creepy-crawly critters, but he really seemed to like it.

Barrett trying to decide if the ladybug will try to crawl up his arm or fly away.

Smile!! He thought it was so funny when the ladybug started to crawl on him. "Mommy, it tickles me!" Oh so cute!

Father's Day...belated

Hello, I am a slacker, once again! I have just realized that I had this post "saved as draft," and then forgot to go back in and post it. And not only that, but it's about Father's Day. Honestly, could it happen to something unimportant, like the cat's new favorite toy being Savannah's pink winter mittens; or the fact that Charlotte has decided (with no wiggle-room or exceptions) that "girls don't watch baseball." Of course not, it has to happen with something very important, or fathers in our lives. So, just pretend that it's Father's Day all over again, would you? Or at least pretend that I did not forget about this post until almost a week later? Oh thank you!

So, it is Father's Day. I like this holiday. I have the great fortune of having a wonderful father, a wonderful father-in-law, and also a wonderful husband who is a wonderful father to our three wonderful children. Isn't that wonderful!!?? Ha ha ha. Okay, enough with the boring alliteration, but truly, it IS a wonderful blessing to have such great men in my life.

My Dad is really such an amazing and great man. I know that I have said it before, and posted about it before, several times, but it's true. When I was younger, I used to think that if I ever had a husband, he had sure better be so different than my Dad. Of course, I was in my teens and thought that I knew everything, and all that typical lame-idiot-teenager-who-hates-their-father crap. I can say with all seriousness and fondness now, that the older I get, the more wonderful and wise my dad becomes to me. I am very grateful and proud that Colby is a lot like my Dad in some ways. My dad is the hardest-working man I know. He is the first to volunteer when someone needs help, he is not afraid of working 10, 12, whatever-it-takes hour days to get the job done, and to get it done right. He gets that from my Grandpa, his dad. Another wonderful man!! Also, my Dad has never been "too good" for any job or work that will support his family. I love that about him. I know so many people who seem to be unwilling to lower themselves, in their eyes, to take a job that they feel is beneath them somehow. I know my dad would have worked 10 jobs, whatever they may have been, if it meant food on the table and a roof over our heads. As a kid, I never appreciated that strong work ethic. To be honest, I actually resented it. He tried so hard to instill that same ethic in us, and it got to be really annoying when I was about 10 and thought that rinsing the dishes fairly well was a perfectly acceptable job of "doing the dishes." Nope- get back in there and do it again, and this time, do it right. I am grateful for that. I am grateful that he was willing to continue and try to teach me, even if it meant I was going to be pretty annoying and whiny and pouty about it. He loved me enough to keep on trying, in hopes that someday I would not be a pouty kid, and learn! My dad is also the first person I want to talk to if I need advice, or someone to just listen to me ramble on about whatever I am trying to work through. He really is wonderful. Thank you Dad, for being so great, and amazing, and special to me! I love you dearly.



I have also had the great privilege of knowing Colby's dad, Ken, for the past 13 years. He is amazing to me. I don't know if I can think of a person who is more calm, balanced, and humble than Ken. I admire his ability to relate scriptures to daily occurrences and situations. I admire that he is able to pull a scripture right out of the air, and never seems to be preachy or self-righteous. I love how gently and tenderly he speaks of Renee, Colby's mom. I love that he never allowed Colby (or any of Colby's siblings) to speak to Renee unkindly or disrespectfully. I am grateful to him for being such a wonderful example of a tender and loving husband and father. I am very blessed to have him a part of my life.



And now, certainly not least, my dear and beloved Colby. I will try to keep this part in check, and not become too sappy and long-winded. Although, you've made it this far, you may as well settle in for the long haul of my rambling, right!! I adore Colby. I love him, and I worship the ground he walks on. I know everyone always says that their husband is the best, the most loving, the perfect husband, and everything else. Sorry ladies....MY husband is the best! He really is. I love how easy and fun and devoted he is to the kids. I love that he is able to be so focused on their needs all the time. I love that he is worried about them, and tries to protect them, even when I may think he is being almost "smothery" at times. I love where his heart is at those times, and I love how much he cares. Like my dad, Colby is such a hard worker, and he does so much for us. He has told me about a gazillion times that all he has ever wanted in life is to make me happy. And when the kids came along, that extended to them also. He does so much to ensure our well-being and happiness. Like his dad, he does not tolerate the kids speaking to me in ways that he deems disrespectful or unkind. And I love that he always tells them "You do not ever talk to my sweetheart like that." He tells them quite firmly, with no room for them to misunderstand him, and yet it really comes across as sweet, tender, and loving. I love that example for them. I love that Barrett sees that, and will hopefully treat his wife with the same degree of kindness, respect and love. That is, of course, if I ever allow him to date! I love that Savannah and Charlotte see that, and hopefully will expect their husbands to treat them with such devotion, love and respect. And of course, that is if Colby ever lets them date! I love that he plays with the kids, and that he likes to talk to them. I always want them to feel their dad has time for them, and that they'll want to talk to him. I can think of a thousand more things I could say about Colby, but for the sake of those who may actually have suffered through this post, I will save them for another time!


What wonderful men I am blessed to know! Happy Father's Day!

Why would it happen any other way?

So, I finished mopping my kitchen floor no more than an hour ago. Barrett just spilled a cup of RED PUNCH all over the floor just now. Of course. Why not? AAARRRGGHHHH!

A Great Song

So, Colby and I love music. All kinds of music and from virtually any timeframe. It just so happens that I dearly LOVE the song "So Happy Together" by The Turtles. It is a wonderful song dating back to 1967; before I was even born! I love this song, it makes me think of Colby every time I hear it. I have it and I have listened to it several times. Today it came on, and Savannah and Charlotte and Barrett all said, "Mommy, it's your Daddy song!" Well, they were right! And since Savannah didn't complain about it being uncool or "old" this time, I turned up the volume nearly full-blast, and we had a great time listening to a delightful older song, while Mommy told the kids how cute and amazing and cool their Daddy is. After that started, Savannah made faces and gaggy noises at me and rolled her eyes. And for the record, Savannah thinks that the Jonas Brothers are who we should have been listening to instead of The Turtles. No way Savannah! Those little boys don't have any songs even half as cool as "So Happy Together!!"

Dance recital!

Charlotte's summer dance recital! She really loves dance, and it is so fun to see her perform!Charlotte getting, as she calls it, all "make upped" before the performance. She likes the blush and lipstick, but she's not such a fan of eyeliner, eyeshadow, and mascara. They make her eyes water like crazy, and it's really counter-productive......

....which is kind of sad, because look how the mascara makes her eyelashes stand out! So pretty!

Charlotte on stage and loving it!!!


Charlotte seems to be a natural performer, just like her Dad. She shows no signs of nervousness, or jitters being on stage in front of a hundred people. She loved it!


This recital was only a few days ago, which signals the end of dance for the summer, and I have heard at least 50 times in the past 3 days, "When do I go to dance?" Sigh. It's going to be a long summer!

Piano Recital!

Savannah's summer piano recital! We love watching and hearing her play. She has such a gift and talent, it is wonderful to see that develop!Savannah loves to play, and right now, she loves to practice! She has a definite ear for music, just like her Dad. She can hear a song, and then pick it out in her head and plunk it out on the piano. She amazes me.

Savannah seems to be drawn to classical and soft styles of piano music. She really liked playing a variation of Beethoven's "Fur Elise."

We are so proud of Savannah, and of the hard work and effort that she puts into piano. She truly does have an amazing talent, and we are grateful for that! We also are glad that she has such a wonderful piano teacher, who really encourages and coaches her talent! Thank you, Emily!

The Smirk

So, we all know Barrett is a devilishly handsome little guy, right? But have you noticed his funny little smirky smile that he does? It cracks me up. When Savannah was this age, she always had what we called her "ultimate cheeseball smile" because it was seriously cheesy and huge. Evidently, Bear has his own trademark......The Elvis....

James Dean.....

Marlon Brando smirk.

My oh my, he is a handsome guy!

Random rambling...

So, a disclaimer at the very beginning: I am in the smack-middle of a grave shift at work, and I am feeling a bit rambling and whiny. So, if you dare, by all means, continue reading. If not, I totally understand!

So, for the past few months, I have noticed something. Not a really great something, but, oh well. I think it is probably no big secret that I have a fairly short fuse and I let my temper get the best of me FAR TOO OFTEN. But, the last little while, I think it just might be even worse than usual. Honestly, what is my problem? I can remember when I was a little kid, and I hated my Dad's ill-tempered outbursts. Before I go on, let me make this absolutely clear right now- I love my Dad, I ADORE my Dad. He is amazing. He has made some truly inspiring changes in his life, but when I was a kid, his temper was not pleasant by any means. I remember how much I hated the feeling of uncertainty- the whole "Is today a yelling/screaming kind of day? Is Dad in a bad mood?" tension and worrying. And I promised myself that if I ever had children of my own, I would not repeat that pattern of behavior. Guess what? I lied. I have a rotten temper, a short fuse, and a (seemingly) total incapacity for recognizing the ranting until it has passed.

Does anyone else ever have days (or weeks, or years...) when they feel that they are making the same mistake over and over and over and over again? Is it just me? Honestly, I sometimes feel like I am continually trying to work on and correct the same imperfections. What am I doing wrong? Am I a failure? Am I a hopeless adult-temper-tantrum-thrower? I think I might have allowed myself to become the worst version of myself. I am sitting here, and I can recall so many times when I have lost my temper and yelled at the kids (many times when I can't recall what they did that was so awful), and, well, pretty much acted just like a kid myself, and I am scared to death. Do my kids fear my temper as much as I feared my Dad's? Are my kids in their room scared of when I will erupt next? Do they wonder, in the middle of one of my idiotic tirades, if I still like and love them? I guess I could play the victim card, and blame my temper on a myriad of things: the genetic pre-disposition bit; the "I have 3 kids and it's so hard" bit; the "I work graveyards and I'm so tired" bit; the "I'm an unappreciated wife and mother" bit; and so on and so on. But really, so what? "Personality" genetics are such a small part of who we truly are; people all over the world have 3, or more, kids; people all over the world work graveyard shifts; and what wife and mother doesn't feel unappreciated from time to time? And.....? See what I mean? What is my problem?

To be honest, my kids are actually really quite GOOD. They have their moments when they do truly act their age, but all things considered, they are very good kids. I have not experienced many of the trials and tribulations that I so frequently hear about with other kids, and I don't think that any of my kids' "issues" would warrant a meeting with Dr. Phil. Why am I such an impatient nightmare?

I realize that many of us are usually our own worst critics, and that may be true, but sometimes, don't you think the worst critics just may have it right? I mean, sometimes the crappy review of a movie is accurate- the movie really did stink. Sometimes the harsh assessment of a particular job or project may be an accurate assessment. So, sometimes, maybe we really are accurate critics of ourselves. And by "we" I am really meaning "I." I truly do have a bad temper. I truly do allow it to get the best of me far too often. I truly do. That is not harsh, it is truth. Sometimes the truth hurts, right? Truth. Ouch. Sometimes, I really like lies. Sometimes self-deception seems pretty good.

I am not really an optimist at all, in fact, I am a definite pessimist (or Realist) to whom the glass is ALWAYS half-empty. And even if it was half-full, the glass would likely be full of poison or something, so just let it be. I mean, if it was something good, why would it have anything left in it at all? It would be totally empty, right? Anyway, as a pessimist, it is very difficult for me to think this, let alone post it, but I have come to develop a great fondness for a particular part of a movie. In "The Lord of the Rings" movie (I forget if it's the 1st, 2nd or 3rd- I'm really sleepy), there is a part where Arwen's father Elrond is trying very hard to convince her that there is nothing ahead for her in life except pain and despair and sadness, that there is no hope. To which Arwen responds, "There is always hope." Really an optimistic response if I ever heard one, and not one to which I would normally be drawn, but it gets to me. Mostly I think more along the lines of Elrond, you know, doom-and-gloom and despair all around and all that, but Arwen's response really affects me. Maybe deep down, buried deep inside my impatient and nightmarish heart, there is a tiny little beacon of optimism desperately trying to light the darkness of pessimism and doubt. Maybe I dearly wish that there is hope for me, and for my crappy temper. My instant pessimism kicks in and tells me that there is nothing but sadness and pain, that I have a bad temper, and I will never learn to control it, and yet, her words get to me. Deeply. I don't know, really.

All I do know is that my temper scares me sometimes, and if that is the case, then it must certainly scare my children sometimes, even if they don't come right out and say so. I dearly and desperately wish that I could go back in time, and tell myself that my kids are truly wonderful and sweet and delightful, and that at no time in the near or distant future will there be justifiable cause for me to lose my temper at them, or because of them. The pessimist, or realist, in me knows that is just not possible. So, then what? What can I do? Telling myself to stop getting so angry and "yelly and screamy" is not working out, believe me. Assuring myself that the kids are sweet is not working. Nothing is working.

"There is always hope." Yeah, right.

Optimism, meet your master, Realism; also known as Pessimism, Doom-and-Gloom, Despair, Heartbreak, and Self-Loathing.

Anyway, if you have ventured this deep into this post, I did try to warn you at the beginning, so you can't blame me if you are sad at having lost a few minutes of your life reading it. Yep, those were five minutes you'll never reclaim.

She's so good...

So, my dear Dad has the kids tonight. Yep, all three of them! They were so excited to spend the night at Grandpa's house, and they were eagerly waiting at the front door for him to pick them up. Now, Colby and I were going to the open house at the Oquirrh Mountain Temple tonight. We are taking the kids a bit later this summer. So, my dear, adorable and sweet Savannah comes up to me early this morning, and asks me a question. She is kind of holding back tears, and I'm thinking that Barrett's been mean to her or something, but I was wrong. My wonderful, recently-baptized daughter asked me "Is it more important to go with Grandpa or go to the temple?" She was really worried and upset about it. I almost laughed at her; I mean, she's only eight! How on earth is she so GOOD? Certainly not from me, or because of me in any way. It's all her Dad. Anyway, only my sensitive Savannah would be so worried about doing the right thing, even when one of the options is spending time with Grandpa. I assured her that the temple is very important, but that Grandpa is important too, and being with Grandpa is perfectly fine. Whatever am I going to with a kid as good and spiritual as Savannah is? She is amazing.

Barrett's New Pictures!

So, here are Barrett's new pictures. Isn't he just about the most handsome little boy you've ever seen?!!LOVE this one! It is such a great capture of his fiery little personality! And I love the bruise on his forehead, it's such a boy thing. Is there ever a time when he doesn't have a bruise? He's always jumping, climbing, running, kicking, or messing around.

I like this one too. He's so cute! And I love black-and-white photos.

I love this one! I think his face looks so cute and sweet.

Hello Handsome!

This is Barrett's favorite, he thinks he is so grown-up with his hands in his pockets. He is so handsome!

So, my little guy is three. Why does time fly by so fast nowadays? My little baby is already three. He is growing up. I predict lots of tears and separation anxiety (by me, of course) when he starts preschool this fall. What will I do without my little Bear-Bear at home with me?